


She's Only Human

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: They knew better than to become attached to beings with such fleeting lifespans yet they couldn't help but to fall...





	She's Only Human

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_The Magician's Mysticism_

 

She had heard stories of how humans of the Outside World desired immortality or longevity, the notion of living unscathed from the detrimental hurdle that was time.

The mere thought of it made Alice's stomach lurch as she clutched onto one of two of her last items, relics of Marisa.

She could call them relics now.

She wondered if they realised the repercussions that came with such a wish, something that she had to live with for the rest of her life; how ever long that would be.

It had been so long ago that the magician had left her life but the memory of the last moments would forever linger in Alice's mind. The last lingering grin, the last touch of Marisa's fingertips on her cheek, the last words of how they'd meet again one day and how much she loved her; the prospect of the _last_ being the knife wedged in Alice's heart snugly knowing that she'll never have those moments again.

She wondered how those that sought a life where watching those closest to them and the ones they loved drop like flies could ever hold any happiness.

What light could be garnered from living through centuries or millennia's when everything you loved would fade away like brittle bones.

How a person even like herself, distant and reserved felt her life warm up after her first encounter with the playful magician would trade her lifespan just to have another moment together with Marisa.

But that can never be she thought to herself as Marisa's hat captured the tears the trickled down Alice's face. There wouldn't be that luxury of having the one she opened up to and tore her guard down for to be near her again. The silent sobs drifted around her home that had become a tortured sense of relief for her, to be surrounded in the lingering presence of the one item in her arms. It was the closest she'd get to feeling any remnants left of the blonde as the Mini Hakkero remained hidden away in her room, untouched and safe.

Alice couldn't bare to touch the Hakkero with the fears of wiping away the last traces of magician's fingerprints. The hat at least she could hold onto as the grief of losing her continued to be built.

How could time heal pain when time is all you ever had?.

Shanghai and Hourai were perched on either side of Alice, patting their Master's head in a futile effort to comfort the grief stricken woman. It'd been the same routine for so long now that their moves seemed even more mechanical than usual but it was better than nothing, anything to keep her in touch with a reality she wanted to tear herself away from.

Life may have gone on after Marisa's surprisingly natural end but the memories would continue to be a double edged reprieve for Alice.

Her thoughts drifted to one of many  with the blonde, one in particular that cemented her feelings that she was trying so desperately not to give into but with Marisa, anything was only a matter of time.

 

_Explosions were common in the Forests Of Magic and the culprit almost often was always Marisa._

_Out of habit, Alice wondered when the next one would be as she was stood in her garden and collected some herbs she was growing. It had been a while since Marisa last set the forest on fire she mused but was quickly snapped out of that as several explosions ricocheted throughout the air and into her ears._

_Her head quickly turned towards the source and the blonde wondered if she had just tempted fate as grey plumes of smoke decorated the air._

_"Honestly, that girl.." she tut beneath her breath and quickly launched herself in the air with Shanghai following after signalling to get the medicinal box as she had a feeling she would need it._

_The wind blew the smoke down wind into Alice's face so she flew lower and was grateful that her house was near by as the size of the fumes indicated that the damage was a lot more severe than her usual._

_Luckily, Marisa's house was intact, aside from a chunk of her wall and door missing._

_"Marisa?! Where are you?" Alice called out as she landed amongst the rubble and debris, "Marisa!"._

_A hand shot out from beneath the snapped door followed by a thumb sticking out, "Yo! Alice, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" the magician grinned once she pulled her body up._

_"Idiot" Alice muttered but ran to her side nonetheless and wrapped her arms around her to pull her out, "Are you okay?"._

_"Phft, never better!"._

_"Second question, are you insane?!" Alice snapped and placed her hands on Marisa's shoulders gently as Shanghai passed her the medical box._

_Marisa scratched her head, slightly scared at the worried but furious blue eyes gazing at her, "Kinda? Relax Alice! I'm fine, remember that worse has happened!"._

_The other blonde sighed, "That is not reassuring"._

_"I'm sorry" Marisa smiled and sat up and took a hold of Alice's hands on her shoulders, "But it's cute how worried you are"._

_"Shut up!" Alice flushed though didn't move away, "You're going to blow yourself up one day, you know that?" she said and busied herself with cleaning up some of the cuts on Marisa's face._

_"Yeah, my dad said the same thi-ow! That stings!"._

_Alice dabbed on the wound on her cheek slightly harder as Shanghai brushed off Marisa's clothes into a reasonable state, "It wouldn't have to be done if you did not feel compelled to experiment yourself to death so grin and bare it"._

_Marisa was indeed grinning as she let Alice continue to patch her up, "Well, as long as you're around to do this, it won't be a problem huh"._

_"Contact Eirin if you want a permanent doctor" Alice replied in a bid to keep the nerves under control though with Marisa's words and skin so close, it was proving to be difficult._

_"Nah, not the same thing" she somehow how managed to wink even though her brow was cut and bleeding._

_Alice carefully cleaned the wound and let the comment simmer as Marisa kept her still sparkling yellow eyes on her. She was watching her just as intently and it was strange to see such a light but thoughtful look in them for a change._

_Even as she was, a mess and always close to death; Alice couldn't be more smitten with Marisa._

_She was spontaneous, impulsive and downright mad at times but Alice loved it, being kept on her toes after so many years of being relatively idle._

_Wiping the dust away from Marisa's cheek, Alice hadn't realised how close their faces had joined till she felt the blonde's breath cover her own. Her first instinct was to pull back but she felt rooted into the spot and it didn't seem like the other was in a rush to get away either. The cloth in her hand had fallen leaving her palm on Marisa's cheek and she felt her hand on her upper arms._

_It all seemed to fall into place. A messy, unorganized and dismantled place that was the perfect symbol of what they were as the only two residents of a forest that was supposedly the epitome of all things magical._

_There must've been something behind that term and the essence of the forest as that was the only way Alice could describe how it felt when their lips finally joined in feathery and a tad bloody kiss._

_It was imperfect that it was perfect._

_They pulled back after letting their warm lips linger over each others, a tender hue of pink highlighting both of their cheeks as they let it sink in; this unexpected yet phenomenal moment of finally turning a new page, together._

_"See, I couldn't do that with Eirin could I?" Marisa teased and completed the moment in the most Marisa like way possible._

_"Idiot" Alice muttered again with a smile and hid in the crook of Marisa's shoulder, "You'll be lucky if you make it to 35 you know"._

_"That's only 10 more years of surviving, challenge accepted!"._  

 

Alice smiled as Marisa indeed, despite all odds lived a full life and won that challenge up until the age of 70 with danger and risks always continuing throughout it. Everything yet nothing had changed in that sense for the duo.

But only after Marisa's death had the impact of what they had and what would never be again mercilessly haunted Alice. She would be the only of the two to feel that pain however and more times than often, the magician spent most of her days counting the moments till her own life would end and she would be reunited with her once again.

As another sun started its preparation to descent towards the skyline and another evening settled in; another moment closer to the end reined in for her.

Alice clutched the hat in her hand as she watched the breath-taking yet eerie scene. It reminded her of how the Mini Hakkero engulfed everything in its vicinity.

Maybe there was one more use for it that would get Alice to use it after all.

She couldn't wait.

_**"I'll be with you soon, Marisa".** _

 

 

 

 ***

 

 

 

_ The Unsealed Gap _

 

The red ribbon tied around Yukari's wrist fluttered with the wind as the watched the surrounding area of the Hakurei Shrine and even with the new occupant, the place chilled her to the bone now. It wouldn't be the same, not for her at least.

It was like Reimu took the warmth from the place with her when she died.

A warmth that Yukari didn't know was possible to feel, feel for a shrine maiden no less.

Never would she have believed that she would become so attached, so docile for a woman she employed to keep Gensokyo safe. A woman that came from an ancestral line of women who had done that very job yet she had no overtly social ties with. Yet, this one had her with each year that passed, each moment they spent together and each moment they were not.

She was perched on the roof of the shrine with her millennia of memories keeping her company. Yet it was the last 30 or so years with Reimu that stood out to her. The cool air wafted around her with her eyes lingering from the scenery to the new shrine maiden who was training.

The outfit, the moves, the hair, the eyes; all of it was a thudding reminder as to her predecessor that Yukari yearned to see again but the closest semblance of Reimu that she would get was the ribbon.

She knew how it would be, she knew the life of a shrine maiden and how nothing was for certain and the possibility of dying in the next youkai hunt was too likely to happen yet when it did, Yukari couldn't hold the dam within her as she watched Reimu succumb to death in her arms.

Never had the youkai responded like that towards the death of the previous priestesses. Of course she felt sadness, more so when they were merely children but Reimu was something else for her, she created a different kind of gap within her that allowed the blonde to let Reimu be the entity to fill it.

But that's where she made her mistake and that was why she was suffering to this day with Reimu's loss because she let her in more than an employer should have.

Yukari's eyes flickered to the ribbon that fluttered in front of her which obscured the vision of the current shrine maiden and she grabbed it into her palm, pressing the material to her lips.

She let herself be soothed by the energy that was left on it and her mind followed suit in recalling the flashbacks tied with it. One of many memories that cushioned the blow of losing Reimu to a youkai, a random and unexpected one that should've been harmless.

It didn't matter who or what it was that took Reimu away, all that Yukari knew and could feel was that gap, once sealed now be open permanently and constantly bleeding because Reimu was no longer there to fill it.

Just like she had always managed to do, be it when they were fighting, laughing or patrolling together, just being near the brunette provided a certain and soft sensation that something she had rarely experienced other than with Yuyuko.

It was one of the things Yukari held onto as tightly as she could, she didn't want the feeling of Reimu to disappear like the other emotional ties in her life did.

Though in truth, she knew that could never happen. Whether she was grateful for that or not she could never be sure.

 

_Reimu could feel her eyes on her wherever she went which led to a permanent blush on her face. As she tended to the many guests that accumulated during one of the shrines parties and when she had to part from Yukari's company, the youkai would make up for the loss with her vision; her smirks and winks that would throw the shrine maiden off._

_Years of it and she still didn't know how to respond to the finely tuned sultry stares Yukari would give her. Sometimes she'd do it whilst training and it'd get Reimu to move and attack much faster just to get her to stop cause she knew she'd lose an eye by not being able to focus._

_It had all built up to whatever kind of relationship she had with the youkai, she just didn't know what to call it and all she knew was that whenever Yukari gave her that glance that nobody else but she would get, Reimu felt both perplexed and special._

_"Hey Reimu! Whys ya face red? You havunt even touched the sake!" Suika beamed and poked the woman's cheek._

_"Get off" Reimu grumbled and tried her hardest to seem not phased by the prying stares and teasing grins she was getting._

_As if her looking at her like that wasn't making Reimu flustered enough._

_"It's cause of all you damn youkai warming the place obviously"._

_"Yeaah, sure it is!" Suika laughed before Cirno launched herself at Reimu's face which caused her to topple against Yuugi in hysterics._

_"Cirno! What the hell are you doing?!" Reimu gasped and retracted the fairy off her face and holding her up._

_The ice fairy was definitely intoxicated unlike herself._

_"Ya said you was warm so I-hic am coolin ya down" she slurred as Dia looked apologetically towards the brunette and took her off of her, "warra friends for!"._

_Reimu half seriously rolled her eyes as Cirno's spontaneous face hug did cool her down from the watchful gaze that was still lingering all over her._

_She muttered a thanks and excused herself to dry off, shaking off a drowsy Kasen onto Yuugi's other side that wasn't occupied by the Suika. The oni could handle them she thought._

_Exhaling out when she reached the kitchen, Reimu grabbed a cloth and wiped her face as she urged for the rest of her body to cool down._

_Maybe there was something in the air tonight she thought to herself whilst walking to the sink and pouring a cup of water._

_The cold liquid felt refreshing as it ran down her throat but that sensation didn't last as a pair of arms encircled her waist and a body pressed up against her back. She almost spat the water back up and Yukari must have felt it as she chuckled softly against her ear._

_"Are you being extra annoying on purpose tonight?"._

_"Me? Annoying? Oh you humour me, Reimu" Yukari smiled as a hand went up the shrine maiden's back._

_Reimu made no move to shrug her off like she normally would do, the feeling of the youkai surrounding her feeling heavenly, not that she would show that and tried to contain the happy sigh that was aching to come out when Yukari's hand went into her hair._

_"Is stalking me not enough for you?"._

_"Ah so you've noticed"._

_Reimu scoffed and felt herself leaning back, "Hard not to"._

_"I couldn't agree more, it is rather impossible to keep my eyes off of you" Yukari countered easily and basked in the warm body blush coming from Reimu._

_"Hey that's not what I me-"._

_Her words ceased when she felt Yukari's lips ghost past her neck._

_"You're awfully touchy feely lately, even by your standards" the brunette settled on saying as she hoped nobody would interrupt the moment._

_Yukari gave a playful squeeze to her hip, "You don't enjoy it?"._

_"I never said that"._

_Yukari smirked into Reimu's neck at the speedy reply._

_"It is essential for a shrine maiden to know that she is valued when she has done a good job, like you have done so"._

_"Did you 'value' my ancestors this way?" Reimu joked and gripped the edge of the counter, tilting her head to the side slightly._

_"Do you want the honest answer to that?"._

_"In your own weird way, you've never really lied to me so tell me what you want"._

_The blonde was impressed at how inquisitive and observant Reimu had become about her methods and means. It was something that her ancestors had never figured out, nor did they want to because she was the head of all youkai in their eyes._

_"No, Reimu. This level of appreciation has only been attained by you"._

_Reimu gulped gently at the implications of Yukari's answer, "That's good..right?"._

_"I'd like to think so as many haven't even survived as long. Speaking of which, when did you get this tall?" Yukari mumbled into the brunette locks as her hand went down and back to holding her hips._

_"Are you mocking me now?"._

_"Hmm, yes" Yukari chuckled and used her other hand to tilt Reimu's head to face her own._

_She had become much taller the more she grew into her age, their faces inches apart and a hazy look in Reimu's red eyes._

_The tips of Yukari's fingers were merely grazing the skin on her chin yet it felt like it was pleasantly numbing her down top to bottom._

_She alternated from watching the piercing violets grow dark as the full lips became close to hers. Reimu had wondered when the youkai would finally get the hint and ditch the shameless flirting and actually show her that what she felt was mutual._

_And mutual it was when their lips finally met, Yukari's fingers still beneath her chin as Reimu gripped the blonde's wrist with one hand and the other snaking behind Yukari's neck as the kiss continued in tenderness._

_They stayed that way for a while, simply enjoying and savouring the moment as the noise coming from the living area faded into a dull blur. Their tentative and explorative lips floated over and each other's as their bodies remained interwoven like they were making up for the lost times till they parted their heads away slowly._

_"Well..that was certainly something"._

_Yukari was smiling in a way that made Reimu's heart pound extra hard it was that beautiful and she quickly tried to compose herself before she melted away down the sink._

_"I still think you're really annoying" Reimu murmured and hid her face in the blonde's neck, the youkai's soft cheek caressing her forehead._

_"Here's to many more years of me annoying you, Reimu sweetheart"._

 

Many years ended up to being the final few as Reimu's fate would join those of the previous fallen shrine maidens that had died during an extermination call.

Yukari knew that was another moment she would never forget either. It was one she wished she could but she was bound by it just like everything else.

Reimu's dying eyes smiling at her as the life disappeared from her body through the wounds, her final confessions of loving her escaping her bleeding lips, the cold touch of her fingertips brushing against her face; all of it haunted Yukari every moment be it awake or asleep.

The evening sky blanketed Gensokyo into darkness with night taking over and Yukari felt like it was smothering her, everything being a reminder of what and how it used to be.

She sighed as a sharp gust of wind ripped through the air again when she looked into the vivid barrier, sensing Reimu's soul somewhere in there along with the other shrine maidens but it was the brunette's that was crying out to her daily.

The ribbon tightened around her wrist as she waited for the fateful day she'd get re-join Reimu's side, not as a youkai or living being; but as a deceased spirit.

_**"Wait for me, Reimu".** _

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

_The Dwindling Passage Of Time_

 

Remilia stared out into the horizon that surrounded the front of the mansion. Her unblinking red eyes took in the torturous serenity she had fallen into, the stillness of the soon to start morning as the sky still remained dark enough for her to sit outside in the garden.

That's all she had done ever since Sakuya had left her side, left the living.

She'd aimlessly move around the not so expansive mansion, her hands behind her back and an empty expression on her face. Other times she'd remain in their bedroom, once filled with life of Sakuya and her scent, now nothing but dust and decay as everything was left untouched. Then there were the nights where Remilia would brave any weather and just stare out past the lake, the forests, the shrine as if she was mapping a journey with her eyes.

The occasional cup of tea that Meiling or Koakuma would bring her and the weak reply of thank you served as a painful distraction.

Especially the tea.

Never would she have the perfect cup of tea again. It was less the tea and more the woman who provided it with all her love and expertise that carved a hole in Remilia's empty heart.

It didn't matter what she was doing, her mind ceased to feel the ease it felt with Sakuya around. Not even Patchouli could pull the vampire back to the reality they were in because it was one that she could never adjust to, not without her.

The smoothness of the pocket watch in Remilia's hand as she rolled her thumb over it was the most sentimental and precious item that Sakuya left with her along with her knives. Never would anybody see her without the latter item as it became a comfort for her to keep around always. It was so easy to form attachments to material things that the deceased possessed as it was the only thing that contained the remnants of them.

Her finger trailed over the small inscription of the two initials of their names which Sakuya had done herself and Remilia could've sworn she would flutter away into the sky as her lover's eyes simply glowed a brilliant blue beneath the moonlight where she had done it.

It was one of the many sweet moments they'd have and since Sakuya did live much longer than the average human did, there was plenty of these thoughts that Remilia sunk into as her isolation towards everything and everyone else increased.

Maybe she was being greedy for wanting even more time with Sakuya, maybe it was selfish of her for giving her the offer of immortality; Remilia couldn't care because neither came to be.

There was nothing she could do about it, not even with her ability and that was when she started losing any sense of pride of them. What was the point of having such an ability if you couldn't use it to protect the ones nearest to you, protect the ones you love and to save them from an untimely demise.

A thin stream of red illuminated from the skyline and it was a beautiful sight for the vampire. She could admire things for the simplest reasons, Sakuya had taught her that after all, that beauty was in everything. Especially in things that could hurt them.

Losing her was one way Remilia had learned the last part.

There was an emptiness inside of her so hollow, so cold and formidable that if she hadn't been dead before, she certainly was now. Maybe at one point with Sakuya around there was something that lived within her heart and mind; something that completed her, something that felt alive, something perfect.

She closed her eyes again as she remembered. She remembered that it was Sakuya, the woman that became the blood that raced through her empty veins.

It was Sakuya, the face she saw in everyone she laid her eyes on.

It was Sakuya who became her source of survival.

It was Sakuya, the longing buried within her that she needed to touch, to have her hands and body on, it was her.

But she was gone now, etched away from Remilia who was left with  nothing but a torturous line of longing that followed with every breath she took and the hundreds of memories whirling around her in her mind.

 

_Strolling through the mansion's garden hand in hand, Remilia glanced at Sakuya, taking in the silhouette of her face that was being highlighted by the moon's glare._

_There wasn't a more beautiful sight for the vampire in the hundreds of years she had lived._

_There was something just so pure and good about Sakuya despite all the struggles she had endured in her past and still she was one of the more kinder and understanding individuals in the land. It made Remilia swell with adoration and pride at having someone so true in her life, a someone that was wholly hers._

_The vampire wanted all eternity with her and even though Sakuya had kindly declined that proposition, Remilia took it in stride and opted to savour every moment she had with her in that case. She had sworn to love and cherish her, be it behind closed to doors or in front of all the residents of Gensokyo, she didn't care._

_"Mistres- I mean Remilia, is something wrong?", the maid asked as she was still getting use to referring to the vampire as an equal, a partner and a lover._

_Remilia quickly darted her eyes away and missed the small grin on the other woman's face before staring straight ahead._

_"Nothing is wrong, I was simply admiring the view"_

_"Ah, I see, does it meet your approval?"._

_"Of course you do!"._

_The vampire froze and went wide eyed as the Freudian slip was revealed, Sakuya chuckling out loud this time._

_"I, that's not.."._

_"If it elevates your shyness" the maid said and stopped in front of the fountain, now face to face with the vampire and running her blue eyes over the defined and elegant features of her lover, "I couldn't agree more about the view being...simply divine"._

_Remilia's hands rested on Sakuya's chest as she stared into her eyes and tried her best to remain mildly wooed by her words but knew she was failing. How to even keep up a façade of indifference around her she didn't know how anymore and with the warm arms wrapped snugly around her waist beneath her wings; Remilia was glad she was holding her up"._

_"Well l am glad that the sentiments are mutual. And to answer your preview question" she said above a whisper as her hand rested on the maid's cool cheek, "I'm more than content right now, with everything in our life as long as you are here with me"._

_"Then I shall do everything I can to make it stay that way for as long as possible" Sakuya smiled and kissed the palm on her face before pressing her forehead against the vampire's._

_Remilia's hands encircled behind the maid's shoulders, getting her body as close to Sakuya's tightly as she could because she knew that  it wouldn't be forever. She knew those dazzling blue eyes would close one day forever and the body would lose its use, she knew the feeling of her lips pressed against her was also something so tragically limited; she was painfully aware of it all._

_So Remilia didn't waste another precious second and brought her mouth close enough so that Sakuya could meet her halfway._

_The latter was only happy to deliver what Remilia wanted because she very much wanted the same, regardless of what it was just because she knew it makes her lover happy, was any other reasons truly needed?._

_Fangs gently brushed against Sakuya's lips as Remilia lingered on various places, tasting the sublime flavour she emitted and unable to get enough of her. She wanted to commit these simple and tender moments to her memories as much as the more grander moments. They all were irreplaceable to Remilia._

_The kiss came to a gentle and soothing stop with Remilia's lips trapped beneath Sakuya's as she pulled back, that glint in her eyes making the vampire lightheaded again._

_"The sun is rising, Milady, shall we go back inside?"._

_Remilia looked to the side to see the specks of dawn breaking through the clouds, the scene signifying that it was the start of another day that she could spend her time doting on her maid for a change._

_"Yes, we can absolutely take this inside, Sakuya" Remilia said teasingly as the woman blushed lightly and took her hand, both making their way back into their home._

 

Remilia hadn't realised that she was crying as she was brought out of her reverie of thoughts by something that was glistening in the sky in front of her. The tears streamed down her face with a vengeance as the dull thud in her chest started up again, the pocket watch in her hand falling till she grabbed it by the chain. Her hands were shaking as she fused with the loneliness that she had never grown accustomed to since Sakuya's death.

Nothing could make it go away.

Well, maybe not nothing.

There was a way to end the suffocation of never getting the chance to complete her own fate.

Unaware of the sounds of Flandre shouting her name along with Meiling, the latter holding a parasol as the blonde was flying with her own, Remilia was entranced by the sight beholding her; like it was calling her to stay there and gaze for a moment longer.

Sakuya was calling her.

She smiled when she saw the sun's rays peek through the skyline and waited to be engulfed in it. 

_**"I'll join you soon, Sakuya".** _

 

 

As quickly as they learn to love a human, just as quickly that human will have to leave them.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
